Carpe Diem

In what seems like a lifetime ago, on a loose Saturday, I was experiencing Stage 3 of my very first breakup. Anger.

I woke up to the murderous ring of my alarm, ready to seize the day, which was already heating up with the scorching sun. It was going to be a special day if only by the pep in my step. There was almost a  fairy-tale wistfulness in the air. In the shower I was whistling away to the tune of the chirping birds on some Cinderella type chi.

Turning off my shower, I preceded to get ready for the day. Laid out on the bed were my calculated props for the day. A black mini dress-shirt paired with suede thigh high boots. 10 golden rings to adorn all my 10 fingers and a black leather bag slinging cross-body.  Concluded with a dark lippie, I was the astounding reflection of  a hard-metal Gothic meets mob-wife as I stared into the mirror at the transformation. Out was that Carolina Herrera perfume that only shows for special events. I was a girl on a mission.

Cruising and blasting the speakers in my Toyota, I kept veering off the road and hitting bumps in agony. Blame it on getting too amped up just listening to an aggressive music selection. Kendrick’s For Free and Kelis’ Caught Out There setting the tone for the mood.

The backed-up traffic that was reminiscent of the Mombasa Road flow, allowed for a full blown conversation with the voices in my head.

I should’ve seen this coming. How old is this lil girl any way? How dare she! How dare he! After all he put me through. Yet he makes a fool of me. I will show them!

My vexation grew more pronounced going over imaginative scenarios. Never mind that it was, for the most part, a deceitful arrangement. That I was not so innocent myself. But the nerve of him to throw her in my face?

Utter disrespect that I could not stand for. You let one weed sprout and you pave the way for a backyard full of the little pesky things.

After what felt like eons spent maneuvering traffic, I finally pulled into a somewhat sane parking slot at the heart of the CBD. Still I had to pay both street urchin and askari. My irritation was steadfast growing by  bounds and leaps. By the time I convened with the holy grail of my girls for our religious Saturday shindig, I was ready to spit fire and they could tell. The 4-way 20 minute conference call we had while I was stuck in traffic had only covered so much. All I needed was a Dracarys trigger and guns blaze.

We exchanged the usual furtive air kisses in greeting. As we settled into our corner booth with more than enough sugar in a variety of flavors, I commenced dishing the tea. You see, my ex’s girl had grown the kahunas to downright harass me regularly at odd hours of the night, spewing all kinds of crazy talk. Never mind that we were never acquainted. Thank the internet for Truecaller and social media as we put our investigative hats on. So she was the girl he was cheating with. She looked disturbingly young and naive, like she was still learning her ABC’s.

Does she even have an ID? I exclaimed clutching my invisible pearls, eliciting some jeering from the table.

A damn shame, Jane offered while the rest ‘tsk-tsked’ in unison.

I must say we created quite the picturesque, us four huddled with browsing keen eyes, enough sugar on display to earn you a buzz for days, dishing and sipping, punctuating in interjections,

Well, we have been telling u he’s not good enough for you…

He always looked suspect…sneaky bastard….

Pam, Gina and Jane are the kind of company a girl enjoys to have around. Never a dull time with them. Even with all our unrelenting differences, we remain fiercely loyal, loving and supportive. The three sanctified pillars of our bond. They are also incorrigibly cocky and judgemental, but you didn’t get that from me.

We were getting a tad too loud in the respectable hangout joint after getting enough Baileys After Dark specials. So logically, we made a dash for the nearest cocktail lounge. Happy hour was upon us and 7 Deadly Sins and Bombay Mules roped us in.

At some point following more than a few glasses, bulbs were lighting atop my head with the liquid courage that I now possessed.

I am going to confront him… to tell him to keep her in check…I need the closure, I proclaimed

I half expected them to shut me down but when Pam called for the bill and Jane and Gina started gassing me up, I grinned and knew it was all systems go from this point. Gina, who’d been having mocktails was the designated driver for our late-night drive-by. Because who are your friends if they do not drive you responsibly on your way to making bad decisions?

Gina halted at the gate. We had arrived sooner than anticipated. My nerves were coming loose. Self doubt was creeping in a little bit

Jane squeezed my hand as if to say, Why not? Whats the worst that can happen?

What I did not chance on was the brand new second-hand ‘me’ opening the door in my little nightwear. As we exchange squinting glances, we hear,

Babe who’s at the door?

Babe?! Not even the decency to give her a different pet name less than a week later. Plus he got this bitch wearing my clothes now? How sway? My body is not even cold yet. The rage was blinding.

I vaguely remember sweeping past her and barging in with all the force I could muster. I could faintly make out the voices in the background.

Eeerm..We’ll just wait out here, Pam called out.

Right here by the door, was Gina’s husky response.

Mmm-hmmm, what they said, Jane interjected.

He jumped up, startled in realizing my full frame. For a moment all he could do was have his mouth agape. Then began his monkey dance.

Ahem…eerm.. you should have called…. cant just barge in here…I don’t want a scene in my house please…need to respect my house…

His voice kept thinning out the more he went on with his tittering poise. His new-found short-framed version of ‘me’ was cowering behind him, forming a pathetic sight. What a time to experience an epiphany. He was babbling on and on with his struggle bass and I was wondering whatever I saw in him in the first place. His high pitched squeaking was so off-putting that I was actually holding back giggles. Go figure. The scales were shedding from my eyes. Such a tiny boy. Plus his pipe game had been satisfactory at best.

I realized what my friends were trying to pass across the entire duration of the relationship. Why it was doomed from the very beginning. I had been trying to mould him into something else. My gravest mistake. Other than introducing me to my controlling habits, I since came to find out that nothing’s sexier than a self-made man.

Stop harassing me on phone. I can report you to the authorities you know, I was surprisingly calm

He turned to give her a questioning look and she knowingly fell her head in silence.

Lose my number too, both of you dummies!

I walked out leaving them whispering in hushed tones. All my previously rehearsed temper flaring skits for this particular scenario were gone with the wind. I could only give them my bloody daggering eyes for threatening effect.

Pam and Gina were still peeping at the door while crouching by the door. Jane was having a smoke by the stairs. Nosy neighbors were hanging around taking stock I suppose, for their next episode of Gossip Around Town.

You good? Jane shouted.

I nodded smiling as I approached them.

I wouldn’t trade y’all for anything in the world, I mused.

We headed back for more cocktails. The night was still young. We lived to fight other battles. Together.


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