Ladies And Gentlemen

Etiquette is one of those mandatory unwritten rules of law. Bank on it to key open doors of success. It will take you a mile long, and then some. Best believe that professional circles, service providers, friends and family relations all fall back on it in some capacity. Predominant so even in the art of seduction. First impressions matter. It is therefore imperative to put our best selves forth. At least until the bed/bag is secured. Then let your freak flag fly.

Proper mannerisms will forever remain timeless. Manners maketh a (wo)man. Ever wonder why you are never invited to places, always getting duped? Could be that you stay spitting and talk with a mouth full of food. Or that you show up with plus five’s when its invite only. Time to take a hint or two.

You are never too grand a person to utter Thank you, Please, Excuse Me, May I. You could embody the black Bill Gates but if you stay barking and screeching, you will forever convene trainings and conferences, wondering why you never garner any form of respect from your subordinates. Etiquette begets wisdom

With that in mind, I am such a fucking lady. What makes me believe so? Despite my sometimes warranted unladylike demeanor. Well, for starters, I don’t kiss and tell nor get stupidly sloshed(anymore). I don’t keep bad company nor put myself in questionable situations in which I am more than likely to blow a casket through the roof. I try not to pee in public(not only is this unethical but it’s illegal too). I esteem to look polished most of the time. Plus I refrain from getting too heated in any argument despite my short fuse. Even/especially in my relationship. Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty is my lifeline. None of that purring and baby talk neither. That shit is not cute in grown women. Confine that to the walls of your bedroom.

In the same breath, I stay expecting chivalry. Most times, unfortunately, to my chagrin disappointment. Surely, this cant be algebra. Pull a chair. Open doors. Do not kiss and tell. Unless you are a punk/mitch. In which case go ahead and be that irritating sissy that serves as content for people’s laughing stocks. Ask for permission and await the green-light. There is no such thing as gone too far! No is No! Take a hint from RnB sensation Ro James, asking permission oozes confidence and sexiness without losing masculinity. Whistling obscenities will attract that bitch akin to your doggy self. With that in mind, putting your paws on a woman is always unacceptable. Choking during heights of passion shall not be considered.

Leave way for a woman to walk ahead. Even if its just to check out her assets. She could get so delighted and decide to bless you with a wiggle. That’s the universe looking out for you. Stay woke ninjas

PSA; in my journey to self-actualization, cussing will remain part and parcel of my routine.I am still a fucking lady though

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